By: Nathan A. Perez & Marcia Ballinger, PhD

What’s good, Everyone? Coach Kev here.

We spend a lot of time talking about rebuilding your life—after divorce, burnout, job loss, or that quiet moment when you realize the life you’re living doesn’t match the life you want. When that happens, there’s usually one thing standing between where you are and where you want to go:

You don’t just need a new plan. You need new people.

That’s the part most of us were never taught. We were told, “Work hard, keep your head down, and someone will notice.” Then we find ourselves sending résumés into the void, scrolling job boards at 2 a.m., and wondering why nothing is moving.

This week’s book attacks that problem head-on:
“The 20-Minute Networking Meeting: Professional Edition – Learn to Network. Get a Job.”

You can grab it here on Amazon using my affiliate link:
https://amzn.to/48h4J8y

If the word “networking” makes you cringe, you’re not alone. Most people picture forced small talk, fake smiles, and long coffee meetings that go nowhere. This book does something very different: it turns networking into a clear, respectful, 20-minute conversation with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

No games. No begging. No pretending you’re “just catching up” when you’re really hoping for a lifeline. It’s a playbook for having real conversations that actually move your career forward.

One of the smartest moves in this book is the 20-minute time frame. Twenty minutes is short enough that busy people are willing to say yes, but long enough to have a meaningful conversation. You’re not asking someone for an hour of their life. You’re asking for a quick, structured conversation with a clear purpose. That alone lowers the emotional barrier for both of you.

If you’ve ever avoided reaching out to someone because you didn’t know what to say or felt like you’d be an imposition, that 20-minute promise changes the game. It gives you permission to ask—and it gives them an easy way to say yes.

Underneath that is a deeper mindset shift: you’re not asking for a job. You’re asking for insight, perspective, and direction. You’re treating the other person as a guide, not a gatekeeper. That alone takes a lot of the fear and shame out of the process.

The book lays out a simple flow for these meetings, but what I really like is the spirit behind it. Instead of wandering into a coffee shop hoping “something good happens,” you show up with intention. You’ve done your homework. You know who you’re talking to, what they do, and why you want to learn from them. You’re not there to dump your entire life story. You’re there to have a focused, adult conversation about work, direction, and possibility.

You briefly share who you are and where you’re headed. Then you ask thoughtful questions about their path, their industry, and what they’ve learned along the way. You listen. You take notes. You treat their experience like the gold it is.

Near the end, instead of nervously circling around the topic of jobs, you ask something simple and honest: “Is there anyone else you think I should talk to about this?” No pressure. No desperation. Just a clear, professional request that many people are more than willing to honor.

This is especially powerful if you’re in a season of rebuilding—after a layoff, a career change, a divorce, or a long stretch of burnout. When you’re already feeling vulnerable, the idea of “networking” can feel almost impossible. The 20-minute framework gives you something solid to stand on. You don’t have to pretend everything is perfect. You also don’t have to overshare. You simply show up as a human in transition, willing to ask for guidance instead of trying to white-knuckle your way through it alone.

One of the most important ideas in this book is that people remember clarity, not desperation. If you show up scattered, venting about how much you hate your job or how lost you feel, most people will feel sympathy—but they won’t know what to do with it. They’ll walk away thinking, “Nice person, tough situation,” and that’s where it ends.

But if you show up with a clear direction—“I’m exploring project management roles in healthcare,” or “I’m transitioning from teaching into instructional design,” or “I’m moving from corporate sales into something more mission-driven”—suddenly their brain has something to grab onto. They can think of companies, people, and opportunities that might fit.

The book pushes you to do that inner work first: to choose a direction, even if it’s not perfect yet. Not a rigid, locked-in identity, but a working hypothesis about where you’re headed. That clarity is a gift to the person you’re meeting—and to yourself.

Another theme that fits my coaching philosophy is the idea that preparation is a form of respect. Before a 20-minute meeting, you’re not just glancing at someone’s LinkedIn for 30 seconds. You’re taking a few minutes to understand who they are, what they do, and what you genuinely want to learn from them. That preparation changes the tone of the whole conversation and tells them, “I value your time.”

The authors also don’t let you off the hook when it comes to follow-up. A short, sincere thank-you email and an occasional update when their advice leads to a win can turn a single conversation into the beginning of an actual relationship. That’s where real networking lives—not in the first meeting, but in the way you nurture the connection afterward.

So how does all of this tie into living your life uncensored?

To me, it’s a perfect fit. Living uncensored means telling the truth about where you are and what you want. It means dropping the guilt about needing help, changing direction, or wanting more than just survival. It means stepping out of the shadows and letting people see you—flaws, fears, and all—while still taking responsibility for your next move.

The 20-minute networking meeting is a practical way to live that out in your career. You’re not hiding behind a résumé. You’re not waiting for an algorithm to notice you. You’re showing up, one conversation at a time, and saying: “This is who I am. This is where I’m headed. I’d value your insight.”

If you want the full playbook—including templates, question ideas, and a step-by-step structure for your meetings—you can grab the book here:
https://amzn.to/48h4J8y

Look, if you’re tired of feeling invisible and you’re ready to start knocking on a few doors in a respectful, confident, and structured way, this book is a powerful next step.

Live your life uncensored.